Debbie Downer

I freaking cried at office hours. I had an emotional reaction to something that happened in my running past and could not control my tears. What I can say about it right now is that I'm incredibly sensitive to certain moments and events that have occurred in my life. One of them involves a former training partner of mine.

I was the very slowest in the group training for Boston 2006...always the caboose at every single workout. It is the group that taught me the most about mental toughness. My MGP was always 8:00 miles (3:30 marathon) and all of the other women in my group were running much faster than me. Despite posting slower marathon times than me, a few of them would consistently kick my ass on workout days. In Boston on Marathon day, we were sitting on the bus chatting about what corral we were going to be in and who was going for what time. There were gals who were planning to 'just run a 3:45 to requalify', even after training like animals all season to try to PR. I could not believe they were going to put in all of the hard work throughout the season (running sub 3:30 paces) and not go for their goal. I told them what I thought...that they were crazy to not go for at least a 3:30, because I sure was and had been chasing their fast butts all season. I told them how fast I thought they were and that if someone like me could go for 3:30, then there was no telling how well they would run. 3:45 hadn't even been a thought all season during those hard mile repeats.

During the race, one particular training partner of mine came flying past me (and Chad, who was running with me) at mile 22-23. We cheered for her, acknowledging her great race, and the look on her face was something I'll never forget. It was fantastic to see that she changed her mind and decided to go for her goal. Her final time was 3:31 something (a huge PR by 12-14 minutes I think).

A few weeks later the team had a get-together and she approached me. In the most genuinely thankful words I have ever heard, she wanted to tell me how much it meant to her that I had told her she was going to run fast that day. She thanked me for telling her to go for her goal. In no way would I ever take credit for what she did, but it meant so much to me that I had in some way had an effect on her great Boston experience. She did the work. She ran the race. She had an awesome day all on her own.

What hurts me to say, and what makes me emotional about these events is that this woman found out that she was sick with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and has been fighting since soon after that race. She is a fighter and will continue to try to beat the lymphoma, but her Boston experience and her conversation with me afterwards has completely altered my way of thinking when it comes to goal setting.

I will always go for it. I will not settle for just good enough. I will respect my own words of advice to my friend and go for my goals, even when it would be easier to be satisfied with less. The words of encouragement that we give each other, the words of gratitude that we share with each other go beyond the moment in which they are spoken.

Every time I hear someone underestimate their own potential or performance, I cringe. I have a gut reaction. I get defensive. I get upset to think about how my friend might not have gone for her goal and would not have experienced such a fantastic day. Anyhoo....today it made me cry. I sobbed the whole way home. I sobbed in the garage. I'm welling up right now thinking about that day.