Dinner Dog House

Yup, it's a dog house. Chad spent some time in it last night for what had to be the biggest lapse in judgement he has made since I have known him.

I asked him to pick up dinner last night while I was out running. He balked over the phone about how he didn't know what I wanted or how to order for me. He has given this excuse a couple of times regarding my food over the last month or so. I reminded him it could be very easy...order me a salad, but with no cheese or anything 'bad' like croutons or tortilla strips. I used those words almost exactly.

So, I get in from my run to find that Chad is minutes away from the house with dinner. I had a sneaking suspicion that he had gone to Wahoo's, one of our regular places, for our to-go meal. I was right! I was excited that I would get to have their salad...it has crispy lettuce, a fresh salsa, grilled vegetables, and a spoonful of yummy guacamole.

To my horror, Chad comes in and confesses that my salad might not be exactly how I wanted it. He said that he forgot to tell them 'no cheese'. Oh no! Really? I prepared myself for what I might see when I opened up the container. Yup, there was cheese. I prepared to try to pick the cheese off, trying to be the grateful, flexible wife who appreciates the effort it took to pick up dinner. It took about 5 seconds to realize that they put the shredded cheese underneath all of the grilled vegetables so that it was all completely melted and leaking out cheese juice and oil all over the salad greens.

In the past, I might have ignored it and just eaten it up. However, after 6 months of being a fairly strict vegan, the sight of oily cheese juice all over my salad completely turned my stomach and I could only stare at it in disbelief. How could he forget?

Now, now...I know your thinking, 'That's not really a big deal, Sadie', and you're right. In the grand scheme of things it isn't. However, there were a couple of issues that put him in the dog house, and after pointing these out to Chad, I think he understood why I was upset...

• At Wahoo's, we both have 'special orders'. Neither of us gets our items directly from the menu. I was disappointed that he did not recall my special order, even though it is the only thing I have ordered there in the past 6 months.
• We eat at Wahoo's at least once a week, usually twice. Chad has heard me order this salad probably 30 or 40 times.
• I had just told him when we were on the phone to leave off the cheese and tortilla strips. Seriously, after the 30 or 40 times he has heard me order this, hearing the order again an hour before on the phone should have helped. He could have even written it down.
• Even if he temporarily forgot, Chad doesn't like cheese either. I thought for sure this would be the one ingredient that he would remember to exclude. I couldn't figure out how he would leave on an ingredient that he is so picky about on his own.
• He knows his wife is vegan. He could have remembered that and thought to ask about any dairy products. He has heard me do this over and over every time we go to a restaurant.
• Also, how could he remember enough of the special order to exclude the tortilla strips, but forget the cheese?

I was obviously very upset about this last night. My stomach was turned. I had to prep and cook pan-grilled veggies for myself while he ate his specially ordered fish bowl dish, and I couldn't eat the veggies when they were done. I had a hard time reasoning through all of the issues that caused him to forget.

Eventually, I got over it and felt like he understood how upsetting it was to me that he got the order wrong. I even asked him if he got it wrong on purpose so that he wouldn't have to pick up dinner ever again. (I knew he hadn't done it on purpose, but I know some men try to get out of doing stuff on purpose by getting it wrong.) I needed some time to get over the thoughts that my husband still does not understand the main point of the way I eat, even though I have been special ordering since we met.

Again, I know cheese on a salad is not a big deal, especially for you guys who do not follow strict diets. I'm just saying that excluding cheese is not a new thing between the two of us and it was the one ingredient that I really wouldn't eat on the salad.

Everything was resolved in my mind until we were lying in the bed. I asked Chad,

'At what point in the drive home did you realize that you had gotten the order wrong?'

I assumed he thought of it on his way home after smelling the cheese in the truck. Nope...Chad knew while he was standing there in the restaurant that he had made the mistake. He knew there was cheese on my salad and didn't think to have them make another one. He thought I would pick the cheese off. Really.

Wrong...Chad now knows that if there is cheese on my salad, I do not want to pick it off. I would rather him order me a fresh salad without cheese juice all over it. I would rather pay for another one than have the experience of going hungry at dinner time. I can't believe he knowingly gave me the salad with the cheese instead of taking the extra few minutes to order me the right one. People who don't eat cheese (vegan or not vegan) don't like to have cheese juice leftover and dripping on the rest of their food...a cheese-phobic person such as Chad should know that :).

Chad knows I intended to blog about this, and I hope that it came across like I intended. I love him, regardless of how hungry I was in the middle of the night :).