Emotional Day

First, let me say that I'm not complaining in any way whatsoever about this sweet baby that I'm carrying. We are so lucky to be pregnant and with a child that as far as we can tell is healthy and thriving. This post has nothing to do with the completely blessed life that I'm fully aware that I have.

Today, however, was hard on me emotionally. I almost threw in the towel and crawled back into bed.

1. We received the news that we're having a little boy. I knew it. I was prepared for it. I'm going to have to take a day or so to let it sink in, that's all. I will be honest in saying that I was hoping that all of the boy signs would be wrong and that she would tell us 'It's a girl!' today.
   
2. Not more than 15 minutes later, I was told by my doctor that I'm too fat. She didn't say it in those words, but she definitely had a frank discussion with me that I am too heavy right now compared to my starting weight. I freaked out and cried and was a blubbering mess. It was really hard to hear, even though I'm completely aware of how much I weigh and know that she is only looking after my health. According to the charts, I have gained too much (almost as much as some women gain in their entire pregnancy) and by gaining too fast I'm putting myself at risk for complications later on. If only I could really control it better. I'm eating a variety of foods and exercising 3-5 times a week moderately, so she told me to stick with it. She suggested two things to focus on so that I don't feel like I have to 'diet' - cut back on simple sugars where I can and do my exercise after I eat. I'll try to do better on those two items, but warned her that I really might just gain weight easily and be 50+ pounds heavier at full term.
   
   The weight thing wouldn't be such an issue if I hadn't gotten up extra early to get my workout in before my weigh in. I also was sure to have caffeine in my tea to help me poop to lighten my load. It is absolutely sick that I feel like I need to work out and be as light as possible before going to the doctor simply to avoid being called out about my weight. I am hard enough on myself when I'm not pregnant.
   
3. One of the pieces of nursery furniture was being delivered today (which we specifically paid to have delivered because of how heavy it is) and they only sent one man to lift it. He arrived with the news that their policy was to only bring the item in the door, not bring it upstairs. I told him that we would not have paid for it to be delivered at all if it couldn't be delivered upstairs. He said that he and another person would be back on Monday to take it upstairs, but right now it is sitting in our front hallway.
   
4. Immediately after the delivery mishap, I was driving out of the neighborhood and a squirrel darted out under my car. I was afraid of killing it, but had no idea I could do worse....I only hit a little bit of him, so he wasn't killed instantly. When I looked back in my mirror to see if I had hit him, he was flailing around and stuck in the road in pain. I freaked out, screaming and crying, a total hormonal mess, and had to pull over the car. The squirrel did die, but his horrible painful death was my fault.

It was not a good day for me emotionally.

From that point on, things have resolved. I had an endocrinologist appointment and my thyroid levels are good. She also said that she had the opposite opinion of my doctor in terms of my weight. She likes to know that her patients are gaining weight so that she knows their hormones are in balance. She thought I was doing well and told me not to worry. I love her for saying that. She also confessed to her own initial disappointment in having a boy first, but that it turned out to be the best thing for her family. She said boys end up becoming good big brothers to their little sisters...made me feel good.

My mom and I also went shopping for baby boy clothes and bought all kinds of cute things - all either on sale, from a consignment store, or with a coupon. We got lots of things for little dough!