Conquering Doubt

"Our doubts are traitors,
And make us lose the good we oft might win
By fearing to attempt."

-William Shakespeare

I did not fear to attempt a long run sans-baby stroller this morning. I was full of self-doubt, but I forged ahead. I'm proud to say that at my designated 2-mile turnaround point I felt great and did not turn around. My body found the running groove that I feared lost to pregnancy and motherhood. Nope. The runner's high, the moment that your brain clicks with endorphins and you feel as if you could run forever, hit me and I settled into it like an easy chair. Ah...my long lost friend.

4.66 miles in 47:00

new distance and time PR for running without any walking

I'm awesome.

New writing

I couldn't figure out exactly what I wanted to do about this blog and posts about Brody. As of today, I am putting true Brody-related posts on his own blog. The intention of that blog is to be like a baby book or diary, where I record things that happen in our daily life for Brody. It will be written to him.

If you are interested go here.

Quote of the night

You need to know the whole picture first...

Typically Brody wears pajamas all day, the ones with feet and that zip up. Pulling a shirt or a onesie over the helmet is a pain in the butt and so is taking off the helmet to dress him is equally as annoying. The situation for me recently has been that Brody is huge and outgrowing many of his zip pajamas. He also is now a week away from not having to wear a helmet anymore. So, recently I have been experimenting with Brody wearing onesies and shirts.

Today he was wearing a little shirt with bright yellow bananas all over it with small writing that said 'bananas in my belly'.

Part of the joy of having Chad be an involved father is getting to hear random snippets of his conversations with Brody. One example is walking into Brody's room after bathtime to find Chad singing 'Amarillo by Morning' to him. It makes my heart melt. Other times I hear him say the funniest things, which brings me to the quote of the day -

Chad's thoughtful parenting advise to Brody tonight. Read with a deadpan voice, very matter-of-fact -

"Brody, it's okay to wear a banana shirt, but not a banana hammock."

Sage advise indeed.

almost 6 months ago

Six months ago was August 25, 2010. I was 39 wks 3 days pregnant and out for my evening walk. Chad was out getting his run in. That evening I decided to run again. I hadn't really run in weeks/months, though I tried a few times in the last month at the gym and just ended up in a lot of pain. Something told me that night to run.

When we were showering and going to bed for the evening, I was remarking at how low my belly was and showed Chad how I could fit my entire palm between my breasts and the big belly. I swept my hand down hard over my skin and swear I heard and felt the 'pop' that I think was the rupture of my membranes.

Not 5 hours later, at 1am on August 26, I awoke to the feeling of water gushing out of me while laying in the bed. I thought I had wet myself with urine, but quickly realized otherwise. It was go time. My water had indeed broken.

Throughout the day on the 26th, labor progressed and we took our final pregnant picture in the nursery. Now six months later, I have finally rediscovered these pics and finished putting together the final belly progression picture from the header of my pregnancy blog. You can click to enlarge if you want. Pictured are the following weeks - 12, 14, 16, 18, 22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, and 39wk4days (in labor, likely 3-4 cm at that point).

I should probably take a picture in the nursery now with Brody. I think I'm about the size of the first pic of me in week 12.

Valentines Date

I did my makeup and hair.

I wore a real bra instead of a nursing tank.

In fact, I wore nothing that would suggest 'mom'...dark non-maternity jeans, red shoes, a top with a neckline that showed a hint of cleavage.

I wore my engagement ring, something that I don't wear these days because the setting ends up scratching Brody's legs when I change his diapers.

I carried a real purse instead of a diaper bag.

I purposely did not wear a watch so that I wouldn't look at the time and wonder what Brody was doing.

My favorite restaurant these days, The Steeping Room, offered a Prix Fixe menu for Valentine's Weekend with at least one item in each course that fit my dietary restrictions (no gluten, no dairy, no eggs). I guarantee no other restaurant in Austin is offering such (even Mother's). It also was reasonably priced and did not have the 'amateur hour' feel in its clientele compared to other dining establishments Valentine's weekend.

We drove Chad's truck, which does not have a car seat base in it.

It was a real date night, folks, and I'm the luckiest gal in the world right now :).

Big Week!

Well, really more than a week...a big 10 days! Hope you enjoy seeing everything that has happened!

First trip forward facing in the stroller! (Jan 29)

First time sitting in a high chair (Jan 29)

Getting the DOC Band wrapped thanks to Evolution Graphics (Feb 1)

First time tasting solids - it was much more appealing to Brody :) (Feb 1)

First time making snow angels (Feb 3)

Not the first time petting the cat, but during this week he really started to recognize and smile at Miko. (Feb 5)

First time in a swing! (Feb 6)

Loving the swings in our neighborhood! (Feb 7)

We also have run several times (walk/running) forward facing in the BOB. Brody has had a few nights of 11 hours of sleep with only one wake-up each night < insert chorus of angels singing loudly from the heavens!!>. Brody's head has made a lot of progress in his DOC band. He actually has a bit of a...wait for it....round head in the back. I swear he has grown a foot and put on 10 pounds. Well, not really, but he does seem longer and his hair has definitely grown.

Good times!

Power Outage with a Baby - The Learning Curve

Things I learned during this morning's power outages -

• You do not need to worry about an alarm clock during a power outage if you have a baby. He/She will wake you up at the regular time. Oh wait, you were already up praying that he/she would gift you some extra time to prepare the house ?? Not a chance.
• As soon as the power goes out, that dang battery back-up surge protector you own is going to start beeping loudly to announce that you have a limited amount of time before your precious electronics will go out, so you better power down. Screw that! Let the electronics go out immediately, just stop beeping so the baby doesn't wake up.
• The sound machine in your baby's room was set to "Rain". Now that it is off, you must tiptoe around the house or he/she will wake up. This goes for overnight sleeping as well as nap time. Oh, and when the power inevitably comes back on during the middle of sleepy time, it will not go back to the gentle rain that you had it set to. No, it will go back to the default "Rain forest" which involves loudly tweeting birds that will wake your baby up. Better just to leave the sound machine off during rolling blackouts. I hate that thing.
• That battery-powered Sleep Sheep that you weren't sure you would use much because it only made the sound machine noises for 40 minutes?? Well, that will come to your rescue now that your dumb plug-in sound machine insists on reverting back to the squawking rain forest birds. Yay for Sleep Sheep. Not that your baby is going to nap at all today.
• Another thing that runs on batteries that will save you? The swing!! If your baby has somewhat outgrown the swing, but is refusing to nap because "something just isn't right in the house" during the power outage, the swing will work! I at least got 20 minutes of no crying because of the swing. Note - the swing will not work on any other day anymore.
• You will become hyper-aware of the status of the freezer. Why? Not because the frozen dinners or smoothie fruit in there might thaw. No, it is because you have 4-6 weeks of stored milk (and in my case it is treasured dairy- and egg-free stored milk) that you would cry for days over if it were to thaw. So, prepare a cooler by putting it outside in the 20 degree weather and then put all of your liquid gold breast milk on the shaded back porch away from the warm house. Thanks Dad for the suggestion. I can't believe I have at least a half gallon of my own milk sitting on our back porch in Texas.
• Feeling cold? Wrap your baby in a cuddly blanket and let him/her nurse and then cuddle with you asleep in your lap. Ahh...instant heater.

I'm sure there is more that I learned, but those are the items I will take away most from. What an interesting morning.

Giggle Fest

Baby Blessings

Another reminder of how lucky we are to have Brody in good health...My friends Billy and Ashley have been dealing with their son Weston's Biliary Atresia - he has been waiting for a liver transplant since very early on in his little life. Weston is only one month older than Brody.

As of right this second, Weston is in the OR receiving his brand new liver. Also right now, the donor's family is mourning the loss of their child. What a tremendous gift it is to donate organsand may the donor's family be blessed and find peace in knowing that a wonderful little boy is receiving a badly needed liver. They are saving Weston's life today.

Please pray for/think good thoughts for/send good energy towards the Golden family as well as the donor's family tonight.

Nine Random Thoughts from Today

#1 - I'm still amazed that my son came out of my body. I still remember exactly how it felt the last few hours of labor. Only now (exactly 5 months later) am I open to the idea of having another child. First, we will have to get this sleep thing down, but the thought has crossed my mind. I'd say I'm about 25% willing to try for another baby sometime down the road.

#2 - Running blogs are boring. I'm finding myself less interested in running blogs these days. Eh, maybe I'll change my mind again, but I'm into reading about other things.

#3 - I'm so excited for next Tuesday! I get to begin my "reduced work responsibilities" on my path to being a SAHM. All I can think of when someone at work sends me an email about something or tells me something over the phone that I think is annoying is "oh, go blow it out your a$$!" Really. I'm there.

#4 - I used a pot in the kitchen last night for the first time since Brody was born. I actually read a coulple of recipes and tried new things. Teriyaki Quinoa and Simple Swiss Chard. Combine with Tamari Salmon and you have homemade dinner, folks.

#5 - I have a new distance PR with Brody in the stroller - 1.57 miles. Brody is finally strong enough to sit forward facing in the stroller (not in his car seat), which means I'm on the way to maybe trying running again someday. If only he can get over his aversion to shoulder straps. He screams bloody murder when being secured in his car seat and now in his strollers, so it may be a while before we can stay out long distances away from the house. Literally one step at a time, folks.

#6 - Thought brought on by a conversation I had earlier today- America will be a much better place when everyone understands that being gay is not a "lifestyle choice." Being gay is as much in a person's biologic make-up as hair color or skin color, but yet some people still think that it is okay to withhold rights from. Seriously makes me sad to think of how many ignorant people there are out there in the world on this issue. Religion can't even be used to justify the discrimination - if people want to claim "some line" in the Bible against homosexuality as an excuse to discriminate, they also should look to the other things in the Bible that reference sexual behavior between men and women and see if it is applicable to the relationships we know today (virginity at marriage, polygamy, divorce, stoning of adulterers). Sigh. Why do some adults fear two people of the same gender who are in a loving relationship marrying, when they would insist their own teenage daughter marry the father of her child, even if it is not in her best interest? (not my situation, but double sigh)

#7 - Torchy's tacos are yummy. The taco of the month in January is super good, too - The Revolution. I get it on corn tortillas without cheese. yum.

#8 - Lots of preggos still happening amongst friends. I'm thankful that Brody will have little buddies to play with.

#9 - Breastfeeding is awesome. It is also kind of weird. I'm not sure if I'll ever think of my boobs as being sexy again now that they are used for their intended biologic function all the time. Also, nobody ever mentions how you are trapped in time when you are nursing. You can't miss a feeding or pumping session or your boobs get really full, and that is uncomfortable. I'm thinking in terms of going for a run, or a date with your husband, or even just being able to sleep comfortably through the night. When the baby sleeps for longer stretches, you still might wake up to really full, tight, uncomfortable boobs and have to pump at 3:00 in the morning. It just gets complicated, that's all. Anyhow, my boobs make milk, and that is really cool because when I see how well my son is growing physically, I know that it is because of me :).

Goals for 2011

• Start running again this year. I would like to be able to run 10-13 miles by the end of the year. Yes, I'm that far out of shape. I'm gonna start slowly by walking first (haven't even really walked since Thanksgiving) then adding in some short distances running.
• Stop using profanity. I don't want Brody to say his first curse word by imitating anything I have said. If you really knew our little family, you would know that I'm the cusser in the house. My main words to work on...fudge, shoot, ace, dang...but the real ones. I figure I'm going to start saying durn, dang, argh, booty, and the like this year, just to keep my sense of humor.
• Eat more vegetables. Despite what a few of you think, I really have become lax in my vegetable eating. With all of the food restrictions I am now under (no beef, chicken, pork by choice, no wheat for my GI issues, no dairy or eggs for Brody's eczema issues), it is essential that I focus on eating the right foods. I am slowly becoming a junk food pescatarian.

Those are the main goals. There are lots of other things that I constantly strive to do better on. Having three main things to immediately focus on for the year is about all I can handle.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Just a quick update from me to check in and wish everyone a wonderful holiday. Our family has been so blessed this year with the addition of Brody to our family. We are simply in love with our son and are enjoying every minute of being parents. Well, not every minute, of course, but he is completely worth any hard moment we have experienced. It seems like forever since I have updated, so here are some shots of what we have been up to.

The family making silly faces in the mirror.


We all ran/walked the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. Chad ran, while I walked with Brody. Chad ran back on the course to finish with us. Here is Brody getting ready to race on Auditorium Shores.


We have been forcing Brody to wear goofy hats. Here he is posing as an elephant.


Here we are in Brody's best brown hat...the one I bribed him with to come into the world.


Brody loves time with his Daddy. Here he is hamming it up for the camera on his Daddy's lap.


Other updates - I will be working full time only until the end of January. Beyond then, I will be a stay-at-home mom. I'm really looking forward to being able to be with Brody full time and am so thankful that Chad and I are going to make it work. Brody's head is misshapen from time in the womb and from being on his back, so he will be in a DOC band starting early January. Look forward to seeing cute pics of him in his 'helmet'. Chad is finishing the biggest work project of his career in the next month. I'm so proud of him for working so hard for himself and us. His first year owning his own company and working for himself has been successful, and I know he has worked very hard to make it so.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Gold Star!

Gold Star for me today! Why? Because I took my car to the dealer with Brody in tow for 5 1/2 hours this morning. Why? The check engine light came on over a week ago and it had to be done.

An 11-week-old. Howdy Honda Service Dept. Five and a half hours. You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. I forgot my snack. I had only the 2nd favorite pacifier, not the favorite. It was a recipe for disaster. However, if you have been to Howdy Honda lately, you know how awesome it is...coke/water/juice fridge, coffee pod maker, lots of space, lots of hand sanitizer, kids area, Krispy Kremes (that I did not eat).

Two feedings nursing in public, two diaper changes (one a poop blowout requiring a change of clothes), many laps around the dealer lot, many more laps around the gigantic air conditioned showroom, and whaddyaknow...I have an excellent baby. Brody was super good and only cried when he woke up for his feedings. I simply followed the routine we have at home...Eat, Play, Sleep...and Brody knew just what to do. He made loads of friends, though I wouldn't let any of them get too close. Thankfully, Chad was able to escape his job towards the end of my wait and bring me lunch and eat with me, so ultimately I did not starve.

Here are some pics of us waiting...

Poop Face--yes, he was literally pooping when I took this shot, though I wish I had a video of his face instead.

Super Smiley Brody

Silly Brody

Brody and Motherhood

I am not running right now. I thought I was ready, but turns out I'm not. Scheduling runs turned into a head game, actually, and I'm just enjoying life without running right now. So, let's talk about Brody and motherhood.

First, a picture.

This is his most recent picture and shows him trying to nap without a swaddle. Yeah, that only worked twice and has not worked since. I think he looks like Chad in this picture, which is a big deal because I have not seen Chad's features in Brody for most of the month of October. I think Brody looked just like my Dad for a while there.

• Brody is sleeping in his crib, which is the latest development in the Jones house. We moved him from the pack-n-play in the dining room to his nursery over the weekend. For those of you who have been to our house, especially since Brody's birth, you know how far the nursery is from our bedroom and how much of a move this is. Without a monitor, it is extremely difficult to hear him upstairs, and I would for sure not hear him cry in the middle of the night. The monitor can't be in our bedroom because I'm such a light sleeper, so we have found it best to put the speaker in the living room...it is loud enough for me to hear it in the middle of the night, but not too loud to keep me awake.
  
  
• Brody is huge. Officially dubbed a "bruiser" by the pediatrician, he weighed 12lb11.5oz at his 2 month check up on Oct 27. He weighs over 13 pounds as of today. Oddly enough, this is only in th 76% for weight, not in the 90-100%. So, bruiser, he is, but he isn't the biggest kid you've ever seen. He is in the 84% for both length and head circumference, though. :) Oh, and Brody was also declared "perfect" by the pediatrician, as well. I'm sure she has seen thousands of babies, so when she declares him "perfect", that is an expert's opinion, not just ours.
  
  
• We've been having a lot of issues with spit up. Brody spit up so much that it is causing a rash on his face going down his neck to the back of his head and back. Pretty much wherever spitup typically travels on a baby is marked by a pink crusty rash. He also spits up nasty curdled milk chunks (mostly digested milk) quite often, so I think maybe some of the digestive juices are to blame for the irritated skin. He spits up out of his mouth and nose and often chokes at the amount of fluid coming out of him. Really, it happens (-ed) all the time.
  
  What did the ped say? She doesn't think it is true reflux or GERD. She thinks he is being over-fed, meaning he is really efficient at draining my breasts and is taking in way more milk than he can handle. She called him a "piggy pig" this week and has asked me to make some changes in how I feed him. Brody gets 5-6 minutes of nursing, followed by a good burping try and a 15 minute wait before he can nurse again. Basically, we're trying to slow him down and feel full so that he is no longer "eating with his eyes" instead of his belly...you know that phrase we use to describe our overloading of dinner plates at Thanksgiving or at the all-you-can-eat buffet. Needless to say, Brody gets really pissed off after only 5-6 minutes because he is used to sucking away for as long as he likes. So far it is helping.
  
  We were also told to put him on his side or belly to sleep...ack! With the volumes he was spitting up, we were encouraged to put him in a position to better prevent the choking...apparently the risk from complications with his spit up and from SIDS at this point are about the same. Well, we tried the side sleeping (with all of the props and such that goes along with it) and will not continue that recommendation. Brody is a back sleeper and has been making himself (and us) miserable with his attempts to sleep on his side. He definitely does not like sleeping on his belly. Now that we have the spit-up reduced with the altered feeding times, we feel 100% comfortable leaving him on his back...he survived much worse spit-up on his back for two months. His head is slightly higher than his belly, so that also has improved things.
  
  
• What can Brody do now that he is a 10-week-old bruiser? He is supporting his head better and better these days, though he is still not as secure as he should be to start sitting in his Bumbo chair. He does really well over my shoulder at lifting up and looking around. He can push his chest up during tummy time, though he doesn't do it very often. He is awesome at tracking people and slow moving objects when they move across his path of vision. He coos and tries to 'talk' all the time, which we love to listen to. His smiles are also seen way more often than before and I think I caught a little giggle today :). Other than that, he's still a lump of a baby...sweet, but still eat, sleep, poop most of the time.

About motherhood...it is exhausting. I'm lucky to feed myself, get a shower, and take care of the baby all day, so if I can get out to the grocery, the bank, or the pharmacy, it is a great day. Chad is extremely busy at work, so six days out of the week, I'm running the Brody show mostly by myself. I have been battling post-partum depression, though now these days are much better than a few weeks ago. I did ask for help and feel better about myself now that I'm getting it. I needed to re-claim our little family life and routines and learn to set some boundaries with family members that are eager to help out. Now, if I can get through the holidays...:)

I'm also looking forward to taking more of the baby weight off. I'm down from 51 pounds over to only 17 pounds over. I know it will likely take the remaining 7 months of the "9 months on, 9 months off" people say to lose the next 17, and likely not all the way until I'm finished nursing Brody according to what everyone and the books say. Mostly it is exciting to see the number on the scale that I saw on our wedding day inching closer to reality...I will hit that number before I get back all the way down to pre-pregnancy weight. Oh, and to have some of my pajama pants fitting better, that is awesome, too!!

On a less self-absorbed note, I have been very thoughtful about circumstances that have been going on in different friends and family's lives. While I sometimes struggle with the adjustment to this new life with baby, I think of those who have struggles of their own. Friends and family who are grieving, who are dealing with sick family members, who are having financial issues, and who are just simply in difficult situations that they have no control over. We all try to make the best of the situation we're in, and luckily most of us are able to support one another through it all.

Thanks for reading and for caring.

I'm Back!

I know you missed me! I'm back to running officially. Have I technically been cleared to run after the birth of my son? No. My six week post-partum appointment is on Thursday, but the bleeding has stopped completely (meaning any hint of blood at all) and I'm taking the chance. They say to wait six weeks. I waited a 5 full weeks plus 2 days.

Yesterday I did 2.62 on foot, of which I ran at least 2 miles. Today I ran exactly 2 miles without stopping! Does it feel good? In so many ways, yes. In so many other ways, no.

• I need a new sports bra (or three or four) that supports these giant nursing breasts. They feel so heavy, and even the most supportive sports bra I own isn't enough...may have to wear two of my current bras at a time to support these ladies.
  
• I will have to run in my maternity bike shorts or my old running capris for some time until my legs are less flabby. I can fit into one pair of my old running shorts so far, but there is definitely some chafing action going on between the legs.
  
• Running with the baby is not something I can do right now - I have a BOB Ironman with infant car seat adapter, but you are not supposed to run/jog with the car seat because it is so top heavy. I have definitely been walking briskly with the baby in the BOB, but will not risk jogging with with him in the car seat. He won't be big enough to ride in the BOB without a car seat until 5-6 months if I am lucky. He needs good head support and simply needs to be bigger. So, what does that mean for me?? I have to run when someone is here to watch Brody. Chad is working long hours these days on a big project, so there aren't many hours in the day for Chad to be here and me not be here. The past two days I have been lucky and got to go out with Chad here at the house. My mom has volunteered to start watching him some in the morning if I want to run, and I have also gotten the same offer from my dad and Rose.
  
• Timing of the runs is tricky as well. Even if someone is here to stay with Brody, I still have to time the run around breastfeeding or Brody will be stuck without food (likely screaming and upset) until I get back. I do have some pumped milk available, but right now I'm only out for 30-45 minutes at a time, so it seems wasteful to thaw out the frozen milk. Plus, I really don't want Brody to have a bottle every single day this early (he technically only should have had his first bottle a week or so ago). It is still early in our breastfeeding days and I don't want to risk disruption to our really good start. Also, I still have to either feed him or pump immediately before a run, or I will have to run with even heavier breasts full of milk...ouch!
  
• For those of you curious about my post-pregnancy weight so far - When I became pregnant I weighed 145. On the day my water broke, I weighed 196 (51 pounds gained over the pregnancy - what I expected). In 5 weeks 3 days post-partum, I'm currently down 28 pounds, so I have 23 to go. I have not done anything to lose the 28 pounds except nurse and walk 2-3 times a week for 2-3 miles at a time. I can't diet to lose weight because I risk affecting my milk supply and/or quality. I try to eat a variety of fruits, vegetables, proteins and other starches, and I'm definitely not eliminating fats at all. It is kind of fun eating sensible choices for foods and not having to worry about counting calories. I'm looking forward to being back in the 150s, then again in the 140s someday. Running at 168 is definitely an effort.

Thanks to those of you out there that followed the pregnancy and supported me along the way. I hope to join you again soon, though it still may be many months before I can run stride in stride with you fasties. In the meantime, don't say anything about my overhanging belly, my new big boobies bouncing, or my super slow gait. I'm putting in whatever effort I can to running, and hoping to reap the rewards!

Oh, and as a reward for reading, here's a picture of the cutest baby around, Brody. :)

Playing with me a week or so ago.

Taking his bath for the first time without screaming!

I'm a winner!

Ever enter a contest, but know that your chances of winning are slim to none? I did that this summer when Whole Foods had an essay contest looking forward to celebrating their 30th anniversary. I thought "What the heck, I'll submit an essay. I love Whole Foods" and went on about my day. When we're talking about essay, we're talking a 1500 character max essay, so it was fairly short. I realized that the birthday weekend was in September, just after our baby is to be born, and that the grand prize for me really wouldn't entail a 'trip to Austin' since I'm already here. I was just hoping that they would like my essay and pick me to get to participate in the VIP events for the weekend. I paid attention to the rules and how they would be choosing the essays and thought mine definitely fit the criteria.

You know what? I am one of the thirty selected winners! Just before I submitted my essay, I re-read what had been written and thought it was decent. I figured I had just as fair a shot of getting picked as anyone else, but I also knew there would be lots of essays for them to choose from. Turns out there were over 5000 entries and apparently mine stood out. Yes, I'm proud of myself. Getting picked from a random draw is cool in itself, but to win something based on a skill rather than pure luck feels even better.

Do I have a copy of what I wrote? NO! It was an online form and I forgot to copy and paste into my word processor to save a copy. Grr! Oh well. I think at some point I'll get to see my essay again. They might even feature it on their WFM blog.

I'm excited to participate in the birthday weekend festivities with Chad (and the baby). There is something each day that I'm looking forward to. Yay me!

Quote from death row

"But every person is more than the worst thing they have ever done, and I am no exception."
- David Lee Powell

Running friend Tony Plohetski has been covering the story of the execution of death row inmate David Lee Powell. No matter your position on the death penalty, this quote rings true. I was completely moved by it. Tony was a media witness at the execution on Tuesday (most recent story is here). Well done Tony.

No more running

I'm to the point in the pregnancy where my body does not want to run. I probably could run if someone made me, but it is beyond the point of comfort. Heck, I get to about 30 minutes of walking and I have to pee so bad it is painful. Beyond the bladder compression issues, the muscles in my lower abdomen start to ache at the end of a walk and I have had two episodes of Braxton Hicks contractions during walks recently. No worries. I don't mind shorter, easier episodes of exercise. I'm thankful that my back does not hurt (knocking on wood) nor do I have any other sciatica or nerve issues in my pelvis or legs (knocking on wood again). Those issues are extremely common during pregnancy.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes while I read my book club book. I tried to then get on a stationary bike (this time a recumbent), but my abdomen really hates the bike and only let me do about 7 minutes on it. I can't do the regular upright bike or the recumbent without significant discomfort. So, I got back on the treadmill and walked another 15 minutes. Not bad.

As much as I love running, I must say that walking at the gym while reading is pretty nice as well. I think getting to use the other side of my brain while exercising is really relaxing. Usually I spend my time running either completely zoning out or using the time to think through and work through any stressors of the day. Reading a book on an air-conditioned treadmill made me actively focus on something else, while at the same time feeling doubly productive - I got my workout in plus 40 pages of my book club book. Awesome!

Oh, and a random detail that I was thinking about just now...when you are pregnant, you need to know if you are Rh+ or Rh-. The + or - at the end of your blood type, right? Well, I'm O+, a pretty common blood type. You know what Chad is? The complete opposite of me, AB-. For some reason I find that fitting. I'm curious to find out what our baby's blood type is.

Random Thoughts

As an attempt at non-baby thinking today, I thought I'd share...

• I really like our neighborhood, especially the fact that Bambi and all of his many friends live here and roam the streets.
• Lost killed me last night. I cried. It was fitting. It made sense. I just didn't want it to happen. Chad said 'It is LOST, so you never know', when discussing what might eventually happen with those two characters by the last episode. (trying not to spoil anything for anyone who hasn't seen it)
• Chad's favorite character on Glee is Brittany. She is so funny. Whoever does the writing for her lines is a genius. I like Kurt because he is quite a bit more complex, but Brittany is a close second.
• I really want to learn how to knit. Holly, I said I would email you about it, but clearly I have procrastinated. I will email you soon. In the meantime, I may need to visit a craft/fabric store.
• We're doing better now with the passing of Beans. Both Miko and Felicia seem to have moved on and are enjoying their new routines. They have been very sweet to us and each other.
• We tried the new restaurant in the Arboretum (Saks/Starbucks side) called Newk's last night. They sent us a postcard for a free Big Crispy treat, so we went and had dinner. Chad liked his pizza (it smelled divine), and I thought my salad was pretty good. They are still learning the ropes over there, so if you go, know that. We got our free rice crispie treat, which was yummy, and were also given a free piece of strawberry cake to try. I tasted the icing and it was delish! Chad seemed to enjoy it. Newk's is an order at the register and take your number to your seat kind of place. They have sandwiches, salads, soups, and thin-crust pizzas. We like places where you don't necessarily have to tip and can eat a full, non-fast food tasting meal for under $20 for the two of us.
• I wonder if I'll be able to run Boston next year. I'm qualified. I would like to complete the distance and get the experience of doing it again, not to worry about my finish time at all. Chad is qualified, too, and it will be the first time we are able to run it at the same time.

That's all I have to say for now. Carry on.

obsessions

Most of you reading can relate to being obsessed with running. You think about your race, your goal time, your workouts, what you wear, what you eat, what pace you are running, how your body feels. These are all common things that we runners like to think about, talk about, and obsess over (some of us more than others). We obsess over our times and force ourselves to run without a watch. We obsess over distance and force ourselves to just run for a certain amount of time. We've all been there.

Some of us obsess about food. We think about how much or little we're eating. We think about if we're eating healthy or junk food. We count calories. We eat with reckless abandon, not worrying about the calories. We seek out restaurants that fit our own particular 'foodie' needs.

I'm obsessed. I'm starting to 'nest'. This whole nesting thing they pin on pregnant women has little to do with actually preparing the physical part of the baby's living space. No, nesting is rather an obsession of the pregnant mind. Ask me what I think about when I'm not consciously trying to focus on work - and believe me when I tell you that work focus takes lots of effort these days. What am I thinking about? Pretty much everything baby-related.

Being pregnant in general - how big I am, what I'm feeling in my belly, is my belly bigger than last week, is this position that I'm sitting in or standing in good for the baby, what am I going to eat next that is good for the baby, when am I going to fit in my exercise today, do these clothes still fit, do I need more maternity clothes, did I take my vitamin, did I do my birthing class homework....
Preparing for baby's arrival - do we have our lists/registries ready, what are we going to have to buy for ourselves, what do we really need, what do we really want, do I know what insurance will cover, we really need to order our glider if we're going to get one, diapering, baby care stuff, breastfeeding stuff, reading books, thinking about our classes, the actual labor and delivery...wow, we're really going to have a baby.
Preparing the house - we need to get rid of stuff, we need to re-do the closet, why is it so darn cold in here, wow we have so much stuff yet to bring in the house, we really need to get rid of stuff...

The thoughts go on and on. The oddest thought that I had recently (don't judge, just laugh) - "We're going to have a baby. It is going to come out of my body and be there and we can't put it back. You can't 'undo' a baby."

I'm obsessed. 95% of what I think about is baby related. It is also completely uncontrollable. My mind just goes there, and from what I'm told is completely normal. It is nesting.

For those of you who talk to me sometime in the next many months - I really will try to think of something other than the baby to talk about with you. I love hearing about what everyone else is doing. If you want to talk to me about something other than baby-related things, I'm all ears and will eagerly break out of my nesting mind-set to try to be a 'normal' person to talk to.